Day 18: Good news or bad news first?

Dear Fabulous Spouse,

Pizza & Movie night tonight.  We had Papa Murphy’s Cowboy pizza and two episodes of Terra Nova (there are spiders in this one).  Got the blogger fix today. Woo hoo!  Sorry that I did not react well to your news of an ORDMOD.  I know I AM happy that you will still have only missed one Christmas Ever.  The kids will be too.  As long as you are safe, I am happy.

We miss you.

Love,

Me

Translation: When do we get any good news?

I know that it must be hard being the one who is deployed, being the one missed, being not there.  I can understand the excitement at the prospect of an early return. I can only begin to understand a fraction of your disappointment when I was less than enthused at the prospect of seeing you at the end of the year, vice this summer.  After all, it isn’t that big of a difference between seven and eleven months.  Sorry for not being supportive.

There is always two sides to every piece of information.  It is always important to understand that the sender and the receiver may view the information differently, and the consequences of that information.  The reaction to the information, whatever it is, is often heightened by the fact that this is a deployment, and not just any deployment…it is an IA to a war zone.  It does not help that men and women process information differently, and that home dynamics (in my case, that I have three children promised a two week holiday in Hawaii this summer with a follow on vacation at the end of deployment to Disneyland).

My mental processes immediately skipped ahead to my kids.  The disappointment of missing Disneyland…again... because an IA was shorted, this is something that Illusive Middle Child keeps reminding me of, wanting reassurance that it is a go not a no go this time arround.  OR the disappointment of not going to Hawaii where Oldest Child wanted to see volcanoes and get a piece of obsidian, and Girl Friday was going to share her American Girl’s story (her American Girl is from Hawaii). 

The fact is, the kids will deal…or they will end up in therapy as adults… no matter what I will be there for you.  I will be supportive.  I will always be here for you (even if it takes a couple hours to get that perspective)!