Day 5: Auld lang syne

Dear Fabulous Spouse,

I love the new Army threads! I hope that your flight across country is quick ant turbulence free.  Sorry that there will be no drink service on board.  Hopefully, you will be able to get out to celebrate New Year’s Eve with the other IAs.  Will call when the ball drops!

We Miss You!

Love,

Me

Translation: Next year, I’m having a party

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

One of the unexpected but obvious side effects of any deployment is that your spouse is not at home. (I know, duh!).  Therefore, those holidays… and non-holidays alike… are bound to be different too.  There are times when this is a blessing, like the year that Girl Friday was 2 months old, Fabulous Spouse was deployed, and we ate turkey sandwiches in our pajamas in lieu of Christmas Dinner.

There are also times when you just for a minute wish that it weren’t so.

New Year’s Eve is a fun holiday in our home.  Traditionally, it has been movies and hors d'oeuvres and champagne (sparkling cider for the kids).  Some years we have had parties, some years we have been at home, but it was always the same.  We watched the ball drop at 9pm in Time Square, and it was New Years.  Then we’d wake the kids or stay up and watch the fireworks at the space needle.

I come from a family of alcoholics.  It is what it is.  Therefore, I do not drink if I am the only adult in the house. Period.  It is just a me thing, but it is part of my mental failsafe from going down that path. (Again, I probably have a reservation with a therapist in my future, but oh well.) So, my traditionally slightly fuzzy holiday is crystal clear.   This is a good thing, as we had kids at the house.

So, it is New Years Eve, we had a house full of kids playing Xbox upstairs, and Girl Friday was down the street for an evening play date.  At 8:45PM, I went to the refrigerator to find the sparkling cider which Girl Friday put in yesterday, and I could not find it.  I checked the fridge in the garage.  No dice.  No Girl Friday either… as she is down the street.  Three minutes to ball drop, and with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I open the freezer.  Yup.  There it is.

Fortunately, I had leftover strawberry cider from Thanksgiving. So, we had a tiny amount of that just as the ball dropped.  Then the boys grabbed some cream puffs and scattered back up to kill things with a quick happy New Year to dad.

There I was, alone on the couch. Cut on my thumb from trying to start to pick up the mess in the freezer, a MESS in the freezer, and a dawning realization that there was nobody to kiss at the New Year.

Therefore, I have come to the realization that I like having people around on New Year’s.  I like having a fun atmosphere and a drink or two.  The couch is a lonely place for one.  I am going to make sure that the down stairs is clean, and I am having a party next year to rock in my 2013.  I am probably having a party for St. Patrick’s Day too.

Day 4:Welcome to Oz

Dear Fabulous Spouse,

Oldest Child’s room is almost done.

I hope that your last night in California went well.  Will forward the boxes you mailed home to South Carolina when I get them.  

We ate the last of the left over Chinese food for dinner.  Both the boys plan on having company spend the night to celebrate New Year’s Eve.  Do you think that that they will call the ball drop in Times Square good enough?

Girl Friday asked if you were coming home tonight, and I reminded her that you were deployed until next year.  Her response, “So he is coming home Monday?”

Have a good flight!

We Miss You,

Me

Translation: Toto, we are not in Kansas any more!

Wow. After three days working in Oldest Child’s room, I feel like I might as well adopt a horse of a different color and start looking out for winged monkeys.  Actually, Oldest Child picked the colors for the high school he will be attending in the fall.  They just happen to be Land of Oz green, black, and white.

It is always interesting to see how children deal with a deployment.  Sometimes they breeze through it, sometimes they rage against it, and sometimes it is a little of both.  Currently, my boys are in the stoic, situation normal mode (although I could see how much it touched Illusive Middle Child to see his first communion cross which he gave his dad in the picture of Fabulous Spouse’s dog tags).

Girl Friday is in that first grade land where time drags on forever and passes in a flash.  Fabulous Spouse regularly leaves on Monday and returns home on Friday. So, this afternoon, she asked what time Daddy was coming home.  I had to explain… again… that Daddy was not coming home until next year.  Poor choice of words, I guess, as 2012 begins on Sunday.

“So, Dad is coming home on Monday, then,” her smart little mind deduces. No. I had to again explain that he was going away for 12 months, but we would see him for two weeks during the summer after the 4^th of July.  “But, we already had that.”   She is still well adjusted though. Still happy to talk to Fabulous Spouse on the cell phone and quickly pass him back.  Afterall, we are no longer in Kansas anymore.  Welcome to the world of Technicolor!  I guess that it is better than black and white and the Twilight Zone!

...and just remember: There is no place like Home!

Day 3: Conspiracy Theory #1: Postal Solvency

Dear Fabulous Spouse,

Oldest Child’s room is getting greener.

How cool that you get to skip those cumbersome TSA lines at a commercial airport now that the Navy is sending you to South Carolina via a Nalo flight! Makes you feel kind of important, like a rock star!

The kids are doing well. We went to Target and cashed in all of our birthday and holiday gift cards.  Stopped at McD’s for dinner.  Had leftover quesadillas for lunch, but there seems to be no dent in the fridge.

Miss you much!

Love,

Me

Translation: The Federal government is using IA’s to funnel money to the Post Office to keep it afloat.

In this time of economic uncertainty, we know that every effort is being made to be fiscally responsible.  That is why the navy is sending an airplane from the East Coast to California to ferry Fabulous Spouse and his 14 other IA’s across country rather than using commercial airlines and their free checked baggage for service members on active duty orders.  Oh, what is that? There is a maximum 80 pound limit per IA Sailor? …and that includes carry on? …and there are no stewardesses…er airline personnel to provide snacks or drinks?...and any food or drink that these IA sailors (who are deploying for a year and are only in California to be issued uniforms…that incur weight) count in their 80 pounds allowable? Seriously?!

Ah. Since these are Reservists, they can mail their gear home, and then mail it to South Carolina once they have a mailing address and the Navy will reimburse them. It will probably cost at least $40 each.  No, do not look behind the curtain.  Yes, we realize that it was nowhere in your deployment packets, and very few people would pack for a year with less than 20 pounds. No, you cannot mail your 8 pound medical record, and your heavy weight winter boots will not be issued until an hour before the post office closes.  However, the Navy will reimburse you… eventually.

No, it is a good use of Federal funds. Really.

...and the beatings will continue until morale improves...or the post office is solvent again.

Day 2: Reality

Dear Fabulous Spouse,

I love you, I miss you, and I am unsure on how the leftovers in the fridge have taken over.

Love,

Me

Translation: Today is  ”Day 1: Demolition”

Yes, I have not adapted to cooking for four, but that is not the real story.  Also, sorry that ANY of our leftovers would be better than what the Navy is not serving you as they are still on stand down, you are in BFE LA, and really, left over Christmas cookies does not constitute a meal.

Every time that Fabulous Spouse has left on deployment, we have redecorated.  It is not just a me thing, plenty of other spouses have done the same. As a matter of fact, one of the wives I once knew would get new furniture every time that her husband deployed.  However, due to a bunch of things, deployment kept getting shifted left, and finally she had to tell her spouse or forfeit her purchase which was awaiting delivery.

In the past, Fabulous Spouse would leave for anything over 48 hours, and the living room (at a minimum) would be rearranged. Back then we had one child, two cats, and neither were much for stimulating conversation.

Now, a one year deployment warrants a shakeup.  Ok, it was in the works anyways.  In any case, Girl Friday has moved to the guest room (recently vacated by her Awesome Auntie who stayed for eight months while Fabulous Spouse’s brother was in Iraq), and the boys unbunked for the first time since Dec 2003.  This put Oldest Child in the newly vacant…and very Pepto-Bismol pink room formally occupied by his sister.

Since, in the Pacific Northwest, flat walls and ceilings are apparently illegal or immoral or something! All walls and ceilings have an “orange peel texture” and are bumpy,   and therefore a pain to paint.  So, today we have primed the ceiling and walls (or “de-pinkified” them as Oldest Child would say).  Now that we have killed the pink, it will ferment, and in the next two days or so, turn green.

Wish us luck!

Day 1: Introduction

First, it seems a little silly to do introductions, when chances are that the only one who will ever read this is my Fabulous Spouse.  However, on the odd chance that you stumble across this and find yourself compelled to come back, here is a little bit about myself, my family and the purpose of this blog.

For starters, I try never to use names. It sounds silly, especially to people like my sister.  In a world where everyone is on Facebook and is sharing where they will be going, where they are, how much they are drinking, the fact that their home is empty and ripe for a burglar or a stalker to come home and visit… OK, I have issues.  It is that whole “Don’t talk to strangers” thing that I am now shouting to the world for them all to read and use to lure my kids into their car.  Ok, maybe it is more than issues.  It is probably sit on the couch and log some serious therapy time. LOL.  Whatever.

Christmas Eve: Fabulous Spouse, Oldest Child, Me, Girl Friday, and Illusive Middle Child



I have had a charmed life, in my own mind.  I met the love of my life in college. Luckily, he loved me back. We got married as soon as he graduated and was commissioned into the US Navy.  A year later, we had our Oldest Child.  Three months later, he left on his first six month submarine deployment (translation: no e-mail, no Skype, total operational silence).  I lived on ramen and saved my pennies, and schlepped my 6-month-old to Europe for the 3 month working port call (not my best idea, because at 13, Oldest Child has no memory of this, and it is hard to enjoy yourself when you have to worry about the baby waking and crying…)

Fabulous Spouse was on his second big six month deployment when September 11^th happened.  We went to shore duty and had our wonderful Illusive Middle Child.  We moved cross country to the scary liberal wilderness that is the Left Coast…seven month’s pregnant with Girl Friday.  She was born by C-section, and Fabulous Spouse deployed two weeks later on a ballistic missile submarine (translation: no port calls).   That left me at home with a newborn, a 22-month old, and my Asperger’s 5 year old (in his angry phase).

We had evolved to scattered e-mails, usually once a month or so. However, they usually went something like: Should be sleeping, no time to write, must keep short so that all messages will fit. Love you.  Fortunately, I can read between the lines and got: I miss you with all my heart and soul, but since 17 others will read this before it is sent and I cannot afford to lose my man card I will just say I love you, and that is pushing it. PS- I totally support retail therapy because Susie’s husband left his man card on the pier and will be writing something totally sappy and 2 pages long.  Buy yourself something nice.  PPS- Tell Rhonda and Mary that it is Susie’s husband’s fault that their e-mails got dropped as he took too much space, and my next three messages will probably get dropped for the same reason.  I love you!!!

We had a few more “patrols” and then went into the shipyards. Then, Fabulous Spouse was selected to help support the 2007 surge in Iraq with an IA (Individual Augmentee) job at the Embassy in Baghdad.  It was a different deployment to say the least, especially as we were the only ones experiencing it.  However, we still lived in a Navy town, and we still had all of our Navy friends just blocks away, and all the other Navy kids whose parents came and went for months at a time.

At the end of those six months, Fabulous Spouse decided that it was time to settle down a little, not get shelled daily, and try civilian life.  After a year, he was back in the Active Navy Reserves, missing that patriotic active duty component of his life.  Consequently, yesterday, he left on a Virgin Airlines flight to start his 420 day orders for an IA to Afghanistan.

This is my blog to process and share with him the life that continues to go on back home.   These are my love letters to the sandbox that he will call home.

This deployment also is full of firsts.

This is our first Reservist IA (Individual Augmentee) assignment.

This is my Fabulous Spouse’s first time to the Sandbox in Afghanistan.

This is our first deployment without the support of the military community (something that scares me more than I care to admit).

This is our first deployment with all three kids old enough and active enough, that I need a minimum of one clone, one chauffeur, and a maid not to drop too many of the balls.

I have been through many deployments.  Some of them have been short, some have been long, some have flown bye and some seemed like they would never end.  At this point, I have no idea what kind of deployment this will be.  However, of course, I am hoping that it will fly bye.